FRAGMENTS OF A BLOG...

I keep hitting the "Monetize" button on my posting page, but I haven't gotten rich yet. Am I doing something wrong?

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If Jimmy Fallon can "slow jam the news" of the day, I can certainly quick jam it. Back by popular demand (?), here are my comments--in a dozen italicized words or less hopefully--on some of the day's top headlines...

"Bachmann at Tea Party rally upbraids 'gangster government'"
Luckily, her speechwriter talked her out of calling it a nigger government, but kept the gist of the message intact.

"Senate Democrats pave way for Wall Street reform vote"
Unfortunately, the path was paved with campaign donations from Wall Street.

"Israel bans imports of Apple iPad"
Who knew that the iPad wasn't kosher?

"Steelers plan to discipline Roethlisberger"
Better late than never. Oh wait--sooner would have been MUCH better.

"Iowan ready for prom with gum wrapper dress"
Somewhere in Iowa there's a school with even more gum stuck under the desk than usual...

All headlines are courtesy of either Yahoo! News or the AP.

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Finally, a few quick riffs...

--NPR reported that in the Palestian district of East Jerusalem, a teacher recently brought in a loaded gun and confronted the headmaster. The school called the Israeli police and were told that since they were in a Palestinian sector, they had to call the Palestinian authorities for assistance. When they called the Palestinian police, they were told that since they were part of East Jerusalem, they had no jurisdiction to intercede in the matter. If nine or ten kids had been killed by that gunman, would God have cared whether they were murdered under Palestinian or Israeli authority? Fortunately, the situation was diffused without injury or loss of life, but I see this as a perfect Kafkaesque example of what happens when political and bureaucratic solutions are used to prop up old, continuing hatreds. People are people, people!

--We continue to enjoy THE TUDORS on Showtime (which just started it's fourth and final season), but by the time Henry VIII married his fifth (much younger--mid-life crises are nothing new) wife, he looked a lot more like Paul Giamatti than Jonathan Rhys-Myers with a few streaks of gray in his hair. Just sayin'.

--I'm high on the Colorado Rockies this year, but I do fear the Even Numbered Curse, which seems to relegate the Rockies most disappointing seasons to even numbered years. Look it up--the Rockies have never made the playoffs and, in fact, have only been in contention once, in even numbered years. We'll see...gotta get Jeff Francis, Huston Street and now Brad Hawpe healthy to live up to most prognosticators pre-season predictions.

--Jazz win the opening round playoff series with the Nuggets in six games. Sorry...I hope I'm wrong and I'm sure I'll hear it from die hard fans if I am, but you can tell a lot about a basketball team by how it plays the last two weeks of the regular season. The Nuggets don't have the look of a champion. (I will give myself an out by noting that if Utah's AK-47 and Carlos Boozer are out significant time, than the result will be the opposite.) But the good news is that this isn't the year for the Lakers or Celtics either. My hunch at this point: Dallas beats Cleveland in seven games to win the NBA Finals. Ugh.

Peace...