HOW TO SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND REPUBLICAN

Hello bloggers and blog readers! Navigating through the convoluted and often contradictory language of politics can be difficult for the layperson. It can be espcially difficult to make sense of exactly what it is the Republicans are saying, especially when they are the minority party. (I call it, "GOPonics".) Here at The R Spot, I've decided to take some of the things that President Obama and the Democrats have been saying and run them through my special patented translator so that I can help people to understand the language differences between the two parties and to try to foster more bipartisan communication. Enjoy!
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WHAT OBAMA SAID: As Americans, we will emerge stronger from the current economic crisis...we will persevere.
WHAT REPUBLICANS HEARD: The same. (This is called a "cognate".)

WHAT DEMOCRATS SAY: We must become less dependent on foreign oil and we must increase efficiency if we are to rebuild our economy and make ourselves less vulnerable to volatility in the Middle East.
WHAT REPUBLICANS HEAR: Tree hugging Dems want us to rely on solar energy and wind power. We say, "Drill baby, drill!"

WHAT REPUBLICANS SAY: We believe that all Americans should have access to affordable health care.
WHAT REPUBLICANS MEAN: The current system isn't broken--even though we work in government, we don't trust it to do anything right and we don't know how to make any money off of it. So as long as you have a job, make over $100K a year, are old or so poor that you have to go to the emergency room, you'll have health care. No one else deserves it.

WHAT OBAMA SAID: We will make sure that the people that receive the bailout money are being held accountable...line by line if necessary.
WHAT REPUBLICANS HEAR: "Accountable" has many different meanings to Republicans, but in this context they hear, "The government is taking over the banks. Obama is a socialist!"

WHAT REPUBLICANS SAY: We are all thrilled and honored to see the American dream of an African-American becoming president finally coming true.
WHAT REPUBLICANS MEAN: We can't believe we lost to a black guy. We've got an Indian!

This is just a sample of course. And yes, Democrats occasionally have an idiomatic way of speaking and listening that requires it's own translation. (They hear the word "pork" a lot.) But hopefully, this will help provide a loose framework to better understand where our right-wing brothers and sisters are coming from. After all, it's about cooperation, right?

Peace...