A Review (sort of) of The Scissor Sisters Concert
January 31, 2005
Wiltern Theater, Los Angeles, CA
Call me a New Hipster, but I didn't know shit about this band called the Scissor Sisters until I stumbled upon their spastic Saturday Night Live performance about three months ago. Give me all the grief in the world if you want for watching SNL, it's not like I watch it all the time, from beginning to painful end, but sometimes when your sitting around the apartment with your girlfriend on a Saturday night with a couple of glasses of merlot, it's not such a bad thing to turn on the show and make fun of how bad all the sketches are (except the ones featuring either Tina Fey or Amy Poehler or both. Those two babes KICK ASS!)
Anyway, there they were in what must have been their second musical number, six glammed up, hard-rocking throwbacks from the late '70's/early 80's performing a Disco-fied, wigged out version of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb". (Want to have fun at your friend's expense? Give them ten seconds to name all the Pink Floyd songs they can think of. Good bet is that "Comfortably Numb" and "The Wall" are the only two that everyone names. God bless Prog Rock!) The male lead singer was wearing a red jumpsuit and having the time of his life. The female lead singer looked like a real woman (she wore a corset!) and she could actually sing, unlike Ashlee Simpson. Needless to say, I was immediately hooked.
Lo and behold, I discover that the Scissor Sisters (named for a lesbian sex act--guess how that works) have a date at Los Angeles' venerable Wiltern Theater. Not only have I always wanted to experience a Wiltern concert, but just going to ANY concert at all at my advancing demographic is an exciting prospect. Of course, I'm hoping that the Sisters deliver on just one half of the promise that they displayed in their national TV appearance. I snap up two tickets in the mezzanine (I'm past my moshing days) and me and the g.f. are off.
The sightlines at the Wiltern are pretty good for an older venue, with few obstructed views and our seats were perfectly fine about 12 rows back from the front of the balcony. But now I have to give props to my man Owen, the senior usher at the Wiltern who spotted me and my significant other, came up to us and said, "Would you like to sit a little closer?" Although worried that his favor might cost me some cold hard cash or a little dignity or both, I nonetheless didn't hesitate to say, "sure." He then took us on a somewhat labyrinthine trip down to the lower level that wound up depositing us in the front row of the handicapped section a mere thirty feet from the stage!
"I checked outside. I've been doing this for twenty years," he explained. "I saw one lady with a limp, but she ignored me. This isn't exactly a wheelchair show, you know what I mean? I'm sure I'll only need part of one handicapped section, so enjoy the show." We thanked him profusely and although I'm embarrassed to admit it, if I could have given the old guy a hug at that point I would have. Sitting close to the stage for concerts ain't exactly my m.o. For a Prince concert at the Hollywood Bowl I had to ask my seatmate who the dude on stage was that was dancing like a dervish. Disdainfully he said, "It's Prince," as if I were the stupidest man on Earth, and I couldn't blame him because without my binoculars it was like watching a purple piece of lint dancing on a distant breeze.
Now I'm ready to embrace the full Scissor Sisters experience. But first a brief word about their surreal opening act at the LA show, an act who's name I missed not once, but three times. Words fail me to describe this troupe, although in retrospect they were a perfect match for the Scissor Sisters. The group's lone singer, wearing what could best be described as workout attire but with too tight shorts (I think he was circumcised) was accompanied by an Asian keybordist whose entire orchestration was generated by an iBook. Also with these two were up to four backup dancers, all looking like refugees from some overaged gym class, two men and two women who specialized in simple hand gestures and pelvic thrusts performed in time to the beats. The lead singer would sing while prancing around the stage while his alternately bored and bemused looking backup dancers would go through their routines behind him. The g.f. said that the whole thing reminded her of one of those fake bands they put on in the background in movies. To me it was like the unholy union of Kraftwerk, junior high gym class and the eponymous nerd from NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE. I laughed, I cried, I wished I was dropping acid right then while not being sure that I somehow wasn't.
Finally, about 70 minutes after the time listed on our tickets, the Scissor Sisters emerged, posed behind a scrim and backlit in dramatic (but still cool gestures). Now for those of you accustomed to professional concert reviews where they tell you the song order and use words like "Bowie-esque" and shit, you might want to skip to the end of this blog. I didn't take notes at the concert (what's the point of that?) and although I have the album, I really only know the titles of about six of the band's songs. No, this review will be more about general impressions and, of course, my breathtaking prose. So all I can tell you about the first number is that it's, um, gotten some airplay on alternative radio and it set the tone for the concert by melding big disco beats with Bowie-esque song structures and wrapping the whole thing up with big Gay flair. Co-lead singer Ana Matronic came out in a tempered Goth look with a short black skirt and high heels and she danced across the stage like she owned it. Not to be outdone, co-lead singer Jake Shears (sans jumpsuit, but looking natty in gold lame wifebeater and black Cossack pants), danced and ran around the stage on every number, occasionally employing a nifty falsetto that is becoming his trademark, other times sounding eerily like a pre-menopausal Elton John. Perhaps it was because they were my favorite songs, or perhaps because they were also crowd favorites, the band was at their best with numbers like, "Mary", "Tits on the Radio" and of course, "Comfortably Numb," for which, appropriately, disco balls descended from above and glittered across the venue.
As for the musicianship, it's top notch, highlighted by drummer Paddy Boom (the group's secret weapon, he always keeps the groove PERFECTLY) and guitarist Del Marquis who was especially effective on "Comfortably Numb". The best thing about this concert and the band in general is that they have charisma to burn and you can't teach that, nor can you get with seasoning or reality shows on MTV (um, Ashlee? Jessica?) It comes from within and from knowing that any song can be turned into a disco song and that's okay, because Goddammit, the world's got to groove and why can't the Scissor Sisters be at the head of the Soul Train dance line?
As my g.f. and I headed into the cold, dark LA night afterward, she turned to me and said, "I'm starting to feel my age. But that was really FUN!" I couldn't agree more. I felt like the Scissor Sisters had released the Gay Man Within, or at the very least allowed me to acknowledge his existence and the whole evening was transcendently entertaining. If the group doesn't blow up due to drugs and ego, I'd love to see what they can put together for the tour supporting their second album.
For more info on The Scissor Sisters go to the All-Music Guide.com or http://www.scissorsisters.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment