One of my favorite features is Sports Illustrated's weekly "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse", which they've been running for probably 15 years now. In tribute to them, I offer a few of my own, sources cited whenever I can remember them:
Well, Duh!
After being down 3 games to none, the Boston Red Sox, the most cursed team in all of baseball this side of the Chicago Cubs, rallied to defeat the archrival New York Yankess 4 games to 3 to win the American League pennant, a feat expected by exactly no one. If the Sox go on to win the World Series, it will be their first championship since 1918.
You Can't Make This Stuff Up...
Tommy Lee, the erstwhile Mr. Pamela Anderson, is taking classes at the University of Nebraska for an upcoming NBC reality show. Better yet, he's going to football games and playing in the marching band while wearing a band uniform. During the first quarter of the Baylor game, he fired hot dogs into the stands from a cannon called "Der Viener Schlinger". Said the onetime amateur porn star, "It's awesome dude. You can launch a wiener in there." --Sports Illustrated, Vol.101, No. 16.
Next Time, Try a Bed & Breakfast
Nicky Hilton's marriage to 33-year old financier Todd Meister officially came to an end last week after just 55 days. In a strange coincidence, fifty-five days ties the record for the longest stretch of time between the release of sister Paris Hilton's "private" sex videos.
Idiotic President Bush Quote of the Week
""Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." --www.dumbpresdient.com Remember, he's the leader of the free world...
Idiotic President Bush Quote #2
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." --www.dumbpresident.com
However, the vast majority of our illegal aliens come from inside the country. Wait a minute...
That's all for now folks. Back with more this weekend plus some fifty word movie reviews. Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment