NAUGHTY PICKUP LINES

And now for a complete change of pace, here are some lines to use before a one-night stand, courtesy of the musical comedy duo Garfunkel & Oates (get it?). Full disclosure, of the kind you'll almost never get on Twitter*--I've never had a one-night stand. I don't regret it, so I don't know a lot of the things guys say to get someone to go to bed with them without a commitment because

A. I've never used any pickup lines and
B. No one's ever used them on me**

So, for your reading pleasure here are SOME PICKUP LINES GIRLS USE TO GET GUYS TO GO TO BED WITH THEM, again courtesy of the female musical comedy duo Garfunkel & Oates:

--"I have 206 bones inside my body and I'd sure like one more."

--"Let's get horizontal and combine."

--"You can call me the Coffee Bean because I know just how to grind."

--"If you like to play naked Twister I've got a mat back at my place."

--"Your knees are Thanksgiving and your stomach is Christmas. I'd like to visit in between the holidays."

Do you have any good (funny), naughty pickup lines men say to women (or other men)? Or more examples of female come-ons? Send them to me and I'll post them! We could all use a good laugh.

*I thought of some examples of some Tweets you could see if someone were tweeting about a one-night stand. Please bear with me:

--"OMG I am doing the walk of shame...how could four beers make such
a difference? WTF!"
--"Did the deed...the broom closet at work has sticky floors, eww!"
--"If I met u at The Church last night and f***ed u between 2 and 4 AM,
plz reply to this txt. I need my bra back!"

**I do remember one time where I'm pretty sure a guy tried to pick me up at a bus stop in L.A. I was walking on the sidewalk and he was sitting on the bench in the bus stop and he said, "That's a good looking pair of jeans. Wish I had a pair like that." My response was, "Uh, thanks," and I kept on walking. In hindight (no pun intended), this had to be a pickup line because straight guys never talk about each other's jeans. It's just a big no-no.

And now, for no particular reason, here is a random picture of my cat "helping me":



Peace...