You can always tell when I'm feeling lazy or tired when I resort to the one and two-liners as my blog post. Yet...you read them anyway. Hmmmm...
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THESE ARE ACTUAL HEADLINES CULLED FROM THE INTERNET (sources cited)
My comments below are in italics. Enjoy!
20-year old held in stabbing before Insane Clown Posse concert (Denver Post)
This headline should have been filed under, "least surprising story of the week." Now if the stabbing had taken place before a Mormon Tabernacle choir concert...
Oil spill sparks criminal probe (Yahoo! News)
How about sparking a probe that will plug the leak? There will be plenty of time for lawsuits and indictments later.
James Cameron working on [oil] cleanup plan (Huffington Post)
Woody Allen is working on kvetching about it while Spike Lee is blaming White people. Weren't there any engineers available to work on this? Oh wait--they're too busy with the first drafts of their screenplays.
MMA fighter accused of tearing out and cooking friend's heart (Huffington Post)
Well, in the fighter's defense, his buddy did say, "eat your heart out." He just misunderstood the "your" part.
Hurricane vs. Oil Spill: What could happen? (Weather Channel)
Not nearly as successful as Godzilla vs. The Martians. But still better than Sex & The City 2.
Nicklaus still expects Tiger to break his record (MSNBC.com)
I hope to God he's just talking about golf...
That's it ladies and germs. Please tip your wait staff--but not completely over, because that would be rude.
Peace...and clean seas.
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