THIS PIG DON'T WEAR LIPSTICK

This Is What It's Come To

One of my co-workers, a guy named Cap (props!) made a really good point about this ridiculous Barack Obama "lipstick on a pig controversy". Cap, a diehard Republican, said that whoever it was in the McCain campaign that decided to keep stirring up the controversy over Obama's comments was a genius because (and I'm paraphrasing here) Sarah Palin is the best thing to happen to that ticket and anything they can do to keep her name in the news and keep people sympathetic to her can only help.

Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself.

For the record, Barack Obama was obviously not talking about Sarah Palin, but instead about McCain's proposed economic policies. Also for the record, McCain himself used the same hoary old quote when referring to Hillary Clinton's health care plan back when she was still in the race. Interestingly, none of the Democrats accused McCain of being sexist and derogatory when he said it, perhaps because most Democratic voters are smart enough to realize that McCain wasn't referring directly to Clinton but to his opinion of her proposed plan.

Anyway, the scary thing is, the more the media reports the story, the more they give it legs. And the more likely gullible independent voters are to believe that where's there's smoke there's fire. Or where there's lipstick on a pig, there must be sexism.

We're through the looking glass people--black is white, up is down and New Coke is the Real Thing. But it's all the same old crap.

An Interview with Mr. Bacon

I decided to head to a local pig farm outside Bennett, Colorado to do an interview with a pig about another angle that has been completely overlooked by the media--how this whole controversy slurs fashion forward pigs.

Francis Bacon, a 700-pound porker who just turned four, has been wearing lipstick since age two. He told me that wearing lipstick makes him feel very attractive to the local sows and that he has no shortage of mates during rutting season. When asked if he thought Barack Obama was being derogatory toward Sarah Palin with his lipstick comment, Bacon said no, although he thought the Senator could be a little bit kinder towards those of the porcine persuasion. Bacon said he did like Obama's kosher policies on account Barack being a Muslim. I told Mr. Bacon that Obama wasn't a Muslim and in fact did occasionally eat pork. When presented with this information, Bacon had no comment.

Asked if he would continue to wear lipstick in light of the controversy, Bacon said, "Why not? I was wearing lipstick long before Barack Obama, Sarah Palin or John McCain were talking about it. Why should I change just because of their ignorance?"

Bacon added that he DID have a problem with Sarah Palin's now famous comment at the convention. "You can put lipstick on a pit bull and you still won't get someone as ignorant as she is," he said. "And you can quote me on that."

Peace...