ASSORTED RIFFS AND MIXED NUTS

Today is 12.06.06, which has got to be some sort of palindromic intiger or cool absolute value thing, but I failed calculus so damned if I can figure it out. I'm not feeling up to coherence today, so we'll have to make do with news, notes and stray thoughts:

--Andy Dick Apologizes for Using the N-Word...In a "parody" of the infamous Michael Richards outburst, Dick pretended to heckle a comedian at a Los Angeles nightclub and then after he got up on stage and the two discussed the incident, Dick shouted "You're all a bunch of n----s!" as he left the stage. While this was obviously intended as satire, the timing and execution couldn't be more ill-conceived. This brings up 1) a question and 2) a suggestion. 1) Who thinks Andy Dick is funny? and 2) why don't all of us, blacks, whites, Latinos, Asians, all stop using the N-word? Then we won't have any confusion or misguided attempts at being "hip" or "edgy" or "keeping it real." Just a thought...

--Fun Trivia Fact of the Day...the PRISON BREAK actor (character name: Tweener) who was recently arrested in connection with the drunk driving death of one of his passengers was once a troubled Texas teen delinquent who's parents gave custody of him to a local minister who specialized in working with artistically-oriented youth. The pastor's name? Joe Simpson, father of Jessica and Ashlee. Gosh, I love the way this guy molds young, um, minds. (Credit to the KROQ-FM entertainment report for this story).

--John Bolton Resigns...no truth to the rumor that PResident Bush is considering naming Michael Bolton to replace him as the U.S. United Nations ambassador.

--My fiancee asked me the other night who I thought the best "active" rappers are, since she knows how much I love the kids and their crazy hippity-hop music. Off the top of my head I named Jay-Z (since I consider Eminem at least "semi-retired", new album out or not), Mos Def and Ludacris. I would also add Common and Snoop Dogg to round out my top five. If there are any rap fans out there, who would you rate as the top five active rappers in the game now?

--By the way, I am loving the new Jay-Z album Kingdom Come. Some critics have slagged it for lyrically covering a lot of the same ground as his last two "pre-retirement" albums, but I say Jay-Z is just doing what all writers are taught to do, which is to write what they know: Jay-Z is a multimillionaire rapper/entrepreneur with a lot of cool toys, a record label and a hot singer/actress fiancee, so naturally a lot of his songs tend to revolve around that.

Punk. I hate him.

PEACE IN IRAQ...