SPORTSAPALOOZA I

My quick hitting thoughts on some stories from the wide world of sports this week:

--Everyone's banging on the ineptitude of the National League and the ridiculousness of the NL wildcard chase, but isn't that what everyone wanted when people cried about the "inequalities" of baseball? How those big, bad, rich teams like the Yankees, Dodgers, Red Sox and Cubs just had such an unfair advantage and supposedly two-thirds of the teams were realistically out of it by July 15th? Personally, I think the chaos of the NL pennant race is great. So what if literally every team except the Mets is within nine games either side of .500? Fans of franchises in Cincinnati, Denver, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Phoenix and even Milwaukee (barely) have reason to at least scrutinize the box scores a little more closely and maybe even check out a game or two in person. And that was Bud Selig's main goal, for better or worse.

Now if we could just put to rest the lie about which teams are the richest and money being all that matters. The richest owner in baseball is Minnesota's Carl Pohlad, and he never spends more than $55 million a year on a club that usually contends. One of the "poorest" (relatively) ownership groups in baseball is in Oakland. The A's lead the American League West and have the second most wins in the American League so far in the 2000's. So it goes...

--The WNBA Playoffs have started. I know what you're thinking--I'm going to rip the league and make some hipper-than-thou sexist joke about the quality of play. No...actually, from what little I've seen (which is still probably more than you) this has been the WNBA's most interesting and competitive year by far. Still, it'll probably come down to Connecticut and the Sparks, and you could have pencilled those two teams in at the beginning of the summer with little argument. So maybe the WNBA nees to work on the parity thing a bit.

Sadly, the truth is that the WNBA will never be on the radar of the typical male sports fan/neanderthal unless one of two things happens...1) some freakish woman who can dunk with regularity and has a charismatic personality (or the body of Halle Berry) comes into the league and becomes a media star or 2) the league caves in and adopts short shorts and sports bras as the standard uniform (which they do in some Australian women's leagues). Don't hold your breath for either.

--BTW/WNBA players who would look good in short shorts and a sports bra: Lisa Leslie, Sue Bird, Becky Hammon, um... Yeah, that's about it. They've all got game though.

--As great as that overblown Yankee-Red Sox rivalry is (a FIVE game series??? Are you kidding me?) it sure would be great if neither one of them made the playoffs, which is a distinct possibility.

Fearless NFL Predictions - AFC

My time is limited and your attention span is short so I'll try to limit my comments to 35 words or less per team and give you the "over-under" on their record for 2006. I'll do the AFC this week, which is the conference I know best and then next Friday I'll give the NFC picks after I do a little research. Ready? Here we go:

Baltimore: Steve McNair is the best quarterback they've had since they moved from Cleveland. Too bad he's about done. (9-7)
Buffalo: God, is this franchise boring. And with Eric Moulds gone, they just got even less interesting. (6-10)
Cincinnati: Guaranteed to win in a prison league, but not such a lock in the AFC North. Carson Palmer will be back to himself by midseason however. (9-7)
Cleveland: My Dad loves the Browns so I'll try and say something nice about them--they'll be a little bit better than they were last year. (6-10)
Denver: Look back over the last six years and you'll find them overrated in even number years and underrated in odd number years. Guess what 2006 is? (11-5)
Houston: They finally have a good coach and Mario Williams will be just fine--you win with defense. But the Texans have a looooong way to go. (5-11)
Indianapolis: I firmly believe dome teams built on speed are soft and you can't really tell until the playoffs. Nevertheless, if their running game can replace Edge sufficiently, they'll be playing deep into January. (12-4)
Jacksonville: I never get to see them, so I'm just grabbing at impressions here...good defense, good enough offense, not real bad or real good at any single aspect of the game. The key--can they ever beat Indy? (11-5)
Kansas City: I'm a big proponent of more head coaches of color in all sports, but I've never thought Herman Edwards was that savvy. Players like him. We'll see. The Chiefs key will be can they finally defend? (9-7)
Miami: Ladies and gentlemen, my sleeper pick to make the Super Bowl. If QB Dante Culpepper's knee holds up that is. (11-5)
New England: The Pats are the poster boys of today's NFL--corporate, efficient, a bit bland. Easy to admire, hard to love. They'll contend again because of Tom Brady, great coaching and rookie stud RB Lawrence Maroney. Yawn. (12-4)
NY Jets: The Jets new coach is from the New England assembly line. Too bad they don't have the New England caliber of player. And no Curtis Martin. Go Giants! (5-11)
Oakland: Speaking of black coaches, Al Davis shouldn't have ever fired Art Shell in the first place. Now he's back and the Raiders talent is better, especially on defense. Real progress will come in 2007. (7-9)
Pittsburgh: Repeat after me--NFL champions don't repeat. (At least not since the 1998-99 Broncos). But the Steelers should still win their division. (12-4)
San Diego: If God cared about football, She'd punish Charger GM AJ Smith for egotistically sacking Pro Bowl QB and good guy Drew Brees so that "his" pick, Phillip Rivers, could start. But God don't care and the Chargers are too talented to suck. (10-6)
Tennessee: Great rap song by Arrested Development. Vince Young is two years away from being great...or a total bust. (6-10)

Have a nice weekend. Don't be like Mel Gibson and Haley Joel Osment--don't drink and drive! Peace...