ODDS, ENDS AND TIPS

Memoirs of a Geisha: The mini-review

Being a fan of Arthur Golden's novel, I'm surprised it took me until last weekend to finally see this very hyped Steven Spielberg production (directed by Chicago's Rob Marshall). Obviously, with all the money involved and the fabulous Marshall behind the lens, this movie looks gorgeous. Too bad all of the geisha players are played by Chinese (with one exception) and that the movie's script glosses over all of the things that made the novel such a fascinating read. Some of that is too be expected of course--you simply can't detail every little ritual that goes into the making of a geisha without it turning into a 12-hour movie (or more). But every now and then the film would allude to one of these rituals that it didn't bother to explain, which would cause me and others in the audience to go, "huh?" Also, the tone of the novel was lost in the translation to the big screen. The novel made you feel as if you were being let into a secret world and learning something about an ancient tradition that is misunderstood by Westerners. The movie makes you feel like you're watching a bunch of overpainted whores dance and prance about and fall in love with their repressed johns. Which story do you think is more interesting?

It's easy to see why Memoirs of a Geisha didn't do better at the box office or with the Academy nominations--it's too long and too dense and yet somehow not enough. I saw it for free. I recommend you wait until it comes out on DVD.

Ho' of the Week

Happy 25th Birthday to Paris Hilton, our 'Ho of the Week*! Congratulations Paris...now stop making bad movies and peeing in cabs, okay? You're 25 now for Pete's sake!

* - By definition, according to all the playas out there, a whore or prostitute is a person who charges for sexual services rendered. A 'ho, on the other hand, gives it away for free!

New Word

See if you can spread this word I invented around and make it stick:

gaysian (gay-shun) adj. A man or woman of Asian heritage, particularly from the Far East, who is also a homosexual. (See George Takei.)

Maybe I'll make it into Webster's! Or at least an episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Have a nice weekend everybody...I'll try and post something new for you over the weekend, but no promises. Also, starting next week, on days that I don't have new blogs, I'll dust off some stuff from archives as sort of a "Greatest Hits" collection, so that you can become more acquainted with my nascent genius.

It'll also point out how crappy a lot of the new blogs are.

Peace...