REVIEWS & NOTES

Are You Down With O.B.L?

Grandmaster terrorist Osama bin Laden (you know, the one that President Bush doesn't spend much time thinking about while the U.S. occupies Iraq) dropped another videotape today and I'm here with the review:

First off, it's hard not to repeat past hits, but you've got to give OBL props for trying, this time offering up a "truce" if the U.S. stops what it's doing in Iraq and Afghanistan. But the rest of the taped message is like a recap of past hits, including singles like "We're Not Done Attacking the U.S. Yet, We're Just Getting Our Shit Together" and my personal favorite, a redux of "Americans Are Imperialist Infidels That Must Die."

Reaction over here in the State Department has been tepid at best, with Homeland Security stating that the tape, while apparently authentic bin Laden, won't lead the U.S. to raise terror alert levels. This is like Guns N' Roses finally releasing that long-awaited album, only to have all of the top rock radio stations refuse to play the single.

If al-Qaeda does get around to dropping their latest remixed terrorist attack (coming soon to a skyscraper near you!), it's not like they'll probably have much difficulty mounting it, especially considering reports that Homeland Security spends more money decorating the offices of it's top officials than it does reimagining our overall security protocols. For less money than we spend every hour in Iraq, a few well-trained, mentally unstable zealots can bring our nation to it's knees--and that's not hype or some Hollywood special effect.

My advice for now is, appreciate that the OBL is still out there, dropping lyrical bombs and keeping his faithful fired up and what not, but don't start to worry until his Greatest Hits Collection is about to drop. Maybe this time, our fearless (or is that feckless?) leaders will believe the Hype.

150-Word or Less Review: Munich

Munich is technically a 2005 release, and I am pleased to say that I will have to redraft my List of the Best Movies of 2005. I think I might slot it ninth or tenth, which would knock Mysterious Skin off the list. Munich is Steven Spielberg's nervy thriller based on a true story about the Israeli hit squad assembled to assassinate those behind the 1972 Munich Olympic massacre. Eric Bana (The Hulk) plays the team's leader and he's so effective here, I wish Universal had gotten off it's ass and hyped him for the Best Actor race. Both a serious examination of the Middle East cycle of violence and revenge as well as a Hitchcockian thriller about men on a dangerous job, Munich's only real flaw is a juxtaposition of sex with violence near the end that rings false and seems unnecessary. This is still one of the best movies of the year.

Quote of the Day

Reporter's Question to Robert Mitchum after being busted for marijuana possession: "How was prison?"

Mitchum: "Just like Hollywood only a better class of people."
Borrowed from the 2006 "Insult-A-Day" Calendar copyright

Sports Picks for the Weekend

In the NFL Playoffs, where I have a career correct pick percentage of something like .475, expect underrated Seattle to take care of Carolina, 20-13. Look for Pittsburgh's magical mystery tour to end in overtime to Denver, 23-20.

And in the NBA, no one will get beat up in the stands, but at least two NBA players will impregnate a woman they are not married to, creating a baby they won't raise.

Coming Attractions?

Next time, soon, that long-awaited compendium of the Best in Music from 2005 with some cool download selections. Also next week, the Best in Television from 2005, which I must admit is one of my favorite blogs to write every year.

Peace...